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Last night I had a “man date” with Ben, a great friend of mine who has been away studying to become Dr Ben at Uni in Swansea. I said to him, “Ben, I am a man of health and vitality, my body is a finely tuned machine I shall not be partaking in the wickedness of alcohol consumption.” But he said, “Tom, trust me, I’m nearly a doctor. Alcohol is running fuel and very good for you. It’s not even fattening, think about it, you rarely see a chubby tramp!”. And by this faultless logic, I was persuaded to drink vast amounts of wine, beer and whiskey. Much of the night is a blur, I awoke feeling very fragile and worst of all, someone has eaten all the Camembert.
So this morning had to start with a life-saving fry up – hangover CPR (Crispy Pork Rind). Bacon and some eggs from my favourite farm;
Hehe.
Once this was consumed and digested it was time for my first run in 2 weeks. We’ve just moved to our lovely new home and have just had too much to do. I can’t just desert FMG to run for a few hours but this morning she was nursing a monster hangover and hadn’t even made it out of bed!
So by early afternoon, I headed out for my first run from our new home and it turned out to be a tough one. We live right on the route for Jog Shop Jog that I ran in October so I decided to tackle a section of that torturous, demanding and hilly trail. About 2 miles in I had technology fail. I’m a massive fan of audiobooks and listen to them on most runs. I’m addicted to the Game of Thrones series and was running along enjoying the story when it said, “Please download next chapter”. Arse. I stopped for a mo and tried to sort it but got the message “Wifi required”. I looked around the field but nowhere could I find their wireless router. Nightmare. So I fashioned a plan, I’d take a slight detour off the route towards the lovely Abergavenny Pub in Rodmell and see if I might be able to “borrow” their connection for a mo. Sadly when I got there I was too embarrassed to go into the pub in my running Lycra to ask them! I also realised that perhaps this might be a slightly odd thing to do as a runner, it’s not as if Christopher McDougall talked about taking a detour to find a Wifi hotspot in Born to Run!
So I ditched my headphones and trundled on and back up the big hill I had come down to get to Rodmell. Boo! It’s not as if this route wasn’t hilly enough! Although it was worth the detour to see this fab road name;
I actually really enjoyed running without listening to anything – it was nice just to focus on the beautiful countryside. I got back on track and joined the South Downs Way for a stretch – cruising through a little wood then slipping and sliding through a sloppy cows field. Then I had to dodge a bull who frankly scared the bejesus out of me! The route takes you on to the Yellow Brick Road, a long climb up to the top of the downs which rewards you with stunning views at the top. By this stage, the weather had totally changed – heavy grey clouds were gathering overhead and I knew I’d shortly be getting very wet! At the top of the Downs, not far from Woodingdean I started arguably the toughest section of the run, known as the Snake. It starts with a nice descent into the bottom of the valley where you zigzag around the base of the hills but this quickly becomes tough going as the ground underfoot becomes boggy and saps the legs. I slowed to a plod and began the long gradual ascent back up to the top of the Downs. I slithered up the Snake’s never-ending turns all the while motivating myself by saying, “You can have a Kitkat at the top!” By halfway up I could already nearly taste the chocolate, I’ve never wanted a Kitkat so badly but it’s a long old climb and each time you cross the horizon the path stretches out ahead of you again. Finally, I reached the top and oh my word that Kitkat was good, I savoured every mouthful!
I tucked the wrapped in my bag and headed for home and that’s when the heavens opened and the rain-soaked me. 2 weeks off running, the boozy night before and the hilly route had really taken it’s toll and I was starting to struggle. I descended on a long muddy route towards Rottingdean then started to climb again up a bridle path towards our home. I slowed to barely a plod. My legs had gone.
I found myself singing a version of the Verve’s classic song When the Drugs Don’t Work;
“All this rain and all this cold, isn’t getting me down my love. But my legs won’t work and it’s getting dark and I’m miles away from home again!”
Yeah I know, don’t give up the day job!
Eventually, I had to do something I rarely do on any run…I walked for a bit. I hate doing it but after nearly 14 miles that were really just one hill after another, I just couldn’t climb another one. I shuffled along in the rain for 100 meters or so then broke into a jog again but it didn’t last long. Half a mile down the road I decided enough was enough and walked the final stretch.
I blame Ben. Whiskey is not running fuel.
